A complete serious breakdown of Eldenling’s new trailer

FromSoftware fans have repeatedly said the name “Elden Ring” in front of the mirror for the past two years, but it’s finally coming to fruition today. The long-awaited collaboration between Dark Souls maker and Game of Thrones creator George RR Martin has returned from the abyss during today’s Summer Game Fest. Not to mention a solid release date, there were signs of a flashy new trailer showing lots of gameplay and some fascinating plots.

I don’t think I’m an “expert” from FromSoftware, but I’m excited to play it too. Sure, I beat Bloodborne and played different amounts of Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls, and Sekiro (not over yet, keep in mind), but for the folklore and stories of these games. I couldn’t say anything. It obviously makes me the perfect person to disassemble this trailer almost scene by scene. Enjoy my stream of consciousness style thoughts and reactions to Elden Ring’s latest gameplay show. We apologize in advance for what you are reading.

No, it must be Elden Ring! In other games, horses cannot sniff the knight’s hand.

It’s Elden Ring.

George, screw your stupid book. This is where you need it most.

That tree is huge! And it’s shining! That probably means it’s important. Is it Yggdrasil? Isn’t that strange? It may serve the same life-giving function. My name is Yggdrasil 2.

Shots like this clearly suggest a much larger open world, perhaps much larger than the previous From Software titles. I am on board.

This giant bell means that this creature will perform poorly in stealth situations. What if it’s someone’s pet? People sometimes tie bells to their cats and keep an eye on them. Before you ridicule, is it, to be honest, stranger than some other things in this trailer?

Can you see that castle? You can probably ride it. And maybe what’s behind it.

Wow, this is pretty messed up. But do you come across such a cart roaming freely like Red Dead Redemption, or is this the moment of the script? And what kind of bad guys pull monsters like these?

From Software has finally made a pot please do not I want to get involved in.

It is the first of anxious enemies that makes you want to kill them with fire as soon as possible. Also note that you are wearing a crown. It’s not the trailer’s last enemy that shakes this look. Hmm …

I’ll refrain from lightsaber jokes here. I’m too classy for such hanging fruits. I’d like to know if this is a one-time attack or if the player can always recall this powered-up sword. And will it turn green? Damn…

I saw the protagonist freely summon a horse early in the trailer. Its features aren’t new, but what’s exciting is how players get over the blue portal and ride their horses on steep cliffs. In addition to providing the perfect motivational poster image, it sounds very convenient for crossing difficult terrain. I want more ridiculous hops!

Well, this is officially a Souls game.

If you think the battle with werewolves is over after Resident Evil Village, Eldenling says it’s not that fast. Either Sif or Sif has completed the transformation from a mere “dog with a sword” to a full-fledged dog swordfighter.

The protagonist has summoned the blue ghost in a large cube, so it looks like you can call your companion again. It’s still unclear if they are just NPCs or human players.

What’s worse than fighting a scary (but epic) dragon …

… fighting a dragon that catches and attacks lighting bolts like Zeus!

I dubbed this cool enemy as “Panther Paladin”. I love his mood and look forward to dying to him over and over again.

I’ve seen this mysterious warrior in previous footage, but she’s no joke. Is she a friend or an enemy?

This jerk is the third character who calls the player “discoloration” and he considers it an insult. Dantuck, a GI editor and soul expert, handed me a cue card from across the grave (he’s on vacation). He says he thinks the term is similar to the title of Ashen One in Dark Souls III. What do you think?

This is exactly what the From Software sequel to Cuphead would look like.

To everyone’s surprise, the Elden Ring seems to have quite a few building-sized enemies.

New Cainhurst Castle? What are all the airy whisps that surround it?

In Eldenling, it’s good to know that you can still play mages, or at least perform magical attacks.

Its ghostly stag is cool, but check out the player’s Wolverine claws!

This majestic woman sits proudly on the throne and is surrounded by menacing knights. They probably don’t matter.

The bugs in this book do the same thing we all do. We are pouring into the theory of all fans about what is happening in Eldenling.

Yes, that giant hand monster is a large mountain of “nopes”.

What is an eerie giant hand creature? !! And why is he naked? Are your hands trying to hide him? In fact, I can live with it.

Wait a minute … it’s probably the guy who stood next to the unimportant woman! He’s a big deal! And he’s angry with me for suggesting other things!

What do you think of the wacky Elden Ring trailer? Hit me with your perhaps more knowledgeable analysis in the comments!